“They aren’t really happy”

There has been a trend that I have noticed in the approach that some preachers have used to advise against comparison and I think it’s problematic. You hear stuff like, 

And then the church rises in an uproar, clapping and applauding other people’s imagined downfall. They probably let out a sigh of relief because they find pleasure in the fact that the perfect image that people seem to be portraying could possibly be laced with sadness and disappointment. 

But here’s the thing. Even “perfect” marriages have arguments. (You have arguments with your family and friends and still love them.) The person who is driving the car could have paid it off in cash. The big house? It is the evidence of God’s favor and the hard work of the person who owns it. The couple goals? They’re probably sleeping comfortably and contentedly next to their significant other on their king’s size bed.

Here’s another thought? What if the people you see achieving great feats are actually happy and not miserable? Now what? Do you return to being sad about your situation? Now, I am not eliminating the fact that people post only their highlights. I am not disregarding the truth that people could be posting a facade.I am not disagreeing with the notion that people flaunt what they don’t actually possess. That’s not what I am saying at all. What I am saying is that not only is this school of thought incomplete, it is also damaging because it unintentionally breeds malice. When we see someone post good news, our first instinct should not be thoughts of ill will and assumed torment. Here’s the thing guys, our contentment, pleasure, or lack thereof, should not be based on whether or not a person is actually living the life that they claim to be living. Our contentment shouldn’t be based on other people’s circumstances. Our peace should not be based on whether they are happy or sad.

Our contentment should be found in JESUS. Our contentment should be rooted in thanksgiving, thanking God for all that He has done for us so far. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” 

Our contentment should also be rooted in hope for what’s to come, because God’s promises stand true and He is not a man that He should lie. *cues Promises by Maverick City Music*  Hebrews 13:5 says “Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,” (This verse also encourages trusting God as you choose contentment)

You never know what’s happening in people’s lives. People show you their highlights and rarely show their behind the scenes. ALL FACTS. But whether they’re happy or sad, fulfilled or unfulfilled, the behind the scenes aren’t our business. They are running their race. Run yours. Focus on your lane. Learn from others, seek wisdom. If you see someone doing well, instead of imagining the “behind the scenes” worst case scenario, thank God for their life. Pray that He sustains the good things He has done for them and pray that their “behind the scenes” are even better than what they choose to showcase. This is not the time to let discouragement or disappointment creep in. The success you see may be the fruit of seeds they planted years ago and maybe you’re in your season of planting. Be thankful for them and be patient with yourself. I understand that we are human and the flesh is indeed weak, so when thoughts of comparison creep in, immediately pray them away. 

As we pray, let’s also pray that God will help us be upright in character. Because more often than not, the things that cause comparisons between ourselves and others are typically external and based on materialism. All of these things are fleeting. Instead, pray that God will renew your heart, that you’ll see through God’s lenses and that you receive the love of God so that you can love others like He does. In Jesus name! Also, if you find yourself comparing your gifts with others and wanting theirs, remember that God gave each of us gifts according to our ability (Romans 12:6) and all we do is for His glory and not ours.

Don’t focus so much on others that you miss what’s happening in your life. Being rich isn’t just allocated to material stuff. You may be rich in peace, love, joy, faith, trust in the lord and a family that loves you. You have gone through trials and have grown.The person you are today is a progression from who you were one/two years ago. So rejoice in those things. And if you do look into people’s lives, it should be with the intent to bless, pray or encourage. Not to investigate, tear down and compare.

Guys, lack of contentment leads to comparison and comparison is the thief of joy and a door for the enemy to invade your thoughts. There are two sides to comparison– you either wallow because you aren’t where the other person is or you become prideful because you have achieved more. Either one is detrimental to one’s self and hinders humility. There is always going to be someone who will be better than you in something. You can be anything but you cannot be everything.   

I’ll end on this note. If you are to be in competition, be in competition with yourself. Compete for better character, compete for being better than yesterday, compete for more knowledge and wisdom, compete for things that are eternal. Comparison will drain you. 

May we choose contentment in our daily lives. May we be devoted to Christ and be surrendered to the inner workings of the Holy Spirit. You are loved and chosen by God. I pray the Lord reminds you of this daily. Be blessed.